Seeing Through the Darkness

When you are recovering from an illness it's hard to see the other side. Shout out to my husband who has a nasty cold and fever today. :(

I was thinking this the other day when I was skiing by a neighbor's house (before the plow came) and he was out there doing his normal snow removal tasks. He had broken his leg really badly this past fall (surgery, hospital stay) and there he is out in the snow with his snow goggles on!

For me personally I'm still not up for Zumba but I've been able to x-country ski, snowshoe, and do yoga. I've done some cardio too and I know I can run 3 miles on the elliptical. It's just frustrating to get home at 5pm and be too exhausted to hit the gym. That's not "normal" for me. Normally I get home at 5pm, hit the gym at 6:30 and get home at 7:45 and eat dinner at 8:30. That's no longer my life or at least it's not right now. I'm trying hard to stick to my doctor's advice of getting up a 1/2 hour earlier to ease into the day (and going to bed 1/2 hour earlier). It worked for about 2 weeks.

The human body is a funny thing. You just take for granted the routine for years and years and years. I recently watched a documentary that discussed alternatives for cancer care (that actually work). It was pretty neat. The sad thing was it showed doctor's that stood behind these treatments were fired and had their lives destroyed. When I'm feeling sick I load up on raw honey, ginger, garlic, and green tea. When I got out of the hospital and 10 days on antibiotics wrecked my immune system I loaded up on probiotic foods and fermented foods. Even now, I can't get enough raw ginger fermented carrots, kraut, and kimchi.

I've also lost all patience for family members, friends, and colleagues that just seem to forget that it was not that long ago where I was out of work for 2 weeks. Out sick. Fighting a nasty infection. I mean, I got cards and letters and notes and an edible arrangement and flowers. Right before Christmas I had to deal with work drama, and it continues (in a more mild format). Just yesterday I felt like family members 100% forgot. I don't want to have to jump up and down and say "look at me, I'm trying so hard, I'm back to work, I'm back to yoga, I'm back to eating healthy and sleeping well."

Days like yesterday I wanted to bonk a few people over the head and say, "well, it's clear you forgot that I just went through a REALLY rough time." Humans quickly forget. Humans are cruel to each other. I've learned a lot through my yoga practice and lately I'm trying to incorporate more of that into my life. I need to distance myself from people that are cruel, shallow, and frankly not worth any of my time. I never forget when a friend has surgery, breaks a leg, misses work for a time. I don't hop all over them a few months later and act like an idiot.

I've learned a lot about humankind these past few months. Time to live and recover fully and strive to do better in 2014.